Monday Meandering

These days have been challenging lately. They are often challenging, but they have been more so lately. There may be something to the idiom "when it rains, it pours." On the other hand, it could just be "harvest time." I put those words in parenthesis because it was a common phrase at my old church. They talked at great length about "seedtime, and harvest." I was never sure it was "seedtime, and harvest," or "seed, time, and harvest." It just made sense in my mind that "time" was a necessary element that wasn't necessarily qualified by "seed."

All of the talk about "seedtime, and harvest" came from the biblical parable of sowing and reaping. "You shall reap what you sow." Something to that effect. It makes sense. Cause and effect are time tested occurrences. This is not a new thought, but it is occasionally one I forget to factor into the equation of what is happening. By "what is happening" I mean, what I am experiencing. I am aware that what I am experiencing may actually have very little to do with what is happening. In fact, a lot of the time I'd say it does not.

There are times when I think there is enough correlation between circumstance and my experience that I can point and say, "that is why," but that is a rare occasion. More often than not, I don't know why, I just try to be as rational as possible given what I can gather from my sources of input.
Then when I experience a windfall of unfortunate circumstances, I wonder, what did I plant? But that's not really fair, because I may not have planted anything that has to do with what I'm going though. Yet, I am going through it.

I'm speaking in vague generalities. The specifics change from time to time. Sometimes they are similar though. Sometimes I wonder if I am going in circles.

I have a paper due to be turned in tomorrow morning for my college Composition I class. I feel silly writing about it. It took me writing three and a half papers to decide what I wanted to talk about and why. I find this ironic because this paper was called a "Synthesis Essay, " which means I am to synthesis ideas enough to form my own argument, then use the works we were assigned to read as sources of evidence for my argument. I found this to be difficult task. I doubt I struggled because I didn't know how to write. That just isn't the case. However, I wonder why I resisted writing it so much. Was that just my process for producing a paper? Was it me being lazy? What was I so reluctant to do? I don't know. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be learning from this experience. It's times like these where an outside viewpoint comes in handy. That's probably why therapist stay in business.