Sunday, December 07, 2014

How about them apples?

I wish there were some way to flip off a professor after they give you a shitty grade just because they felt like it. Maybe there is a wikiHow for that. Or maybe I should create one.

SERIOUSLY, HE SUBTRACTED 15 POINTS FOR ME FAILING TO PUT MY NAME AT THE TOP OF THE PAGE, EVEN THOUGH I SUBMITTED IT IN THE DROPBOX WITH MY NAME ON IT. NO ONE ELSE COULD HAVE SUBMITTED THAT HOMEWORK IN THAT DROPBOX BECAUSE IT IS PASSWORD PROTECTED. IT DID NOT EVEN MATTER THAT I WROTE A COHERENT STORY WITH HIS FUCKING VOCABULARY WORDS. I BET YOU ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS THAT NO ONE ELSE WROTE A STORY WITH THOSE WORDS. HE TOOK 3 POINTS OFF FOR MINOR ERRORS. I WOULD HAVE MADE AN "A" IF HE WERE NOT SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE. THEN, TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY, HE CONDESCENDED TO GIVE ME 1 POINT EXTRA CREDIT FOR "CREATIVITY."
(ALSO, I WROTE THIS IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE THAT IS HOW HE ALWAYS WRITES ON THE BOARD. IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT IS A CONFUSING METHOD OF COMMUNICATION BECAUSE IT IS DIFFICULT TO TELL WHEN A WORD IS ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE CAPITALIZED OR NOT. I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MATTER TO HIM.)

FUCK YOU, PROFESSOR. FUCK YOU, AND YOUR FUCKING GRADING SYSTEM.  

How's that for creativity?

Now, for your reading pleasure:

1.   Commodious adj. : spacious, and convenient; roomy.

Jos apartment was tiny, but for her it was commodious because she was a diminutive person.

2.   Cacophony n. : harsh discordance of sound; dissonance.

She loved her apartment dearly, with the exception of the upstairs neighbors who insisted on producing a cacophony with their new electronic-folk-jazz band every night for three hours.

3.   Surmise v. : to think or infer without certain or strong evidence; conjecture; guess.

Jo surmised that their band must be new because the cacophony they made was especially dreadful when they first moved in upstairs.

4.   Inhibit n. : to restrain, arrest, check (an action, impulse, etc.).

The first night they played, Jos immediate impulse was to call the police, but she remembered the time she spent in college forming an 80s rock band herself, and she was inhibited by her empathetic memories.

5.   Accentuate v. : to give emphasis or prominence to.

Her empathetic feelings were accentuated when the band started playing her favorite song Sweet Home Alabama [J2] because it was the first song she recorded with her band (and it just happened to be playing during her first kiss).

6.   Epitome n. : a person or thing that is typical of or possesses to a high degree the features of a whole class.

You see, Jo was originally from Alabama, but she moved to Oregon after college, and Sweet Home Alabama was the epitome of everything she missed about her previous life in the South.

7.   Bereft adj. : deprived

All of these memories would have meant a lot more to Jo if the music was not preventing her from sleeping, but as it was, she knew she would be bereft of rest come 6:00am when her alarm was due to sound.

8.   Taciturn adj. : inclined to silence; reserved in speech; reluctant to join in conversation.

Sleep deprivation always made Jo taciturn, which was not great for her job because she was a telemarketer and needed to be perky on the phone.

9.   Diffident adj. lacking confidence in one's own ability, worth, or fitness; timid; shy.

But Jo knew how it felt to start a band and how important rehearsal time was so she did not want to discourage her neighbors by making them feel diffident about their new band.

10.Florid adj. : reddish; ruddy; rosy.

All of the sudden a stranger showed up at her door with a florid complexion; he was as bright as a tomato.

11.Abnegation n. : the act or an instance of abnegating or denying oneself some rights, conveniences, etc.

In that moment, Jo recognized the guy as the drummer from the upstairs band; instead of chewing him out for keeping her awake at 12am, she chose the path of abnegation and bit her lip when he asked if they were being too loud.

12.Wistful adj. : characterized by melancholy; longing; yearning.

He asked with such a wistful expression that Jo felt her attitude shift towards them[J3]  dramatically, and realized that he was actually interested in her.

13.Querulous adj. full of complaints; complaining.

She could tell he was expecting more of a querulous reaction (with plenty of shouting and cursing) because he knew they were being inconsiderate by practicing so late in the day.

14.Panacea n. : a remedy for all disease or ills; cure-all.

Jo didnt want the guy to get the wrong impression because she actually wanted to get to know him after that night, so she kissed him, which was the panacea in her book when faced with situations such as this one.

15.Cupidity n. : eager or excessive desire, especially to possess something; greed; avarice.

The young man was confused by this action; he thought perhaps it was motivated by cupidity on Jos part because she had mistaken the band for a more successful one and hoped to gain monetarily from the connection.

16.Bellicose adj. : inclined or eager to fight; aggressively hostile; belligerent; pugnacious.

When he accused her of such a thing, Jo responded bellicosely by hitting the drummer in the stomach.

17.Phlegmatic adj. : not easily excited to action or display of emotion; apathetic; sluggish.

To this display of aggression the drummer did not react because his temperament was fairly phlegmatic.

18.Cerebral adj. : betraying or characterized by the use of the intellect rather than intuition or instinct

Rather, he took a moment to reflect; then, in accordance with his cerebral disposition, he logically asked Jo if she would go on a date with him.

19.Oxymoron n. : a figure of speech by which a locution produces an incongruous, seemingly self-contradictory effect, as in cruel kindness or to make haste slowly..

Jo felt that his discordant display of affection was something of an oxymoron in response to her treatment of him, but she accepted it at face value [J4] nevertheless;[J5]  and that was how Jo met Joe.





 [J1]NO NAME -15


 [J2]OFFSET WITH COMMAS -1


 [J3]PRONOUNISM* -1


 [J4]COMMA -1


 [J5]


+1 CREATIVITY

83

*"Pronounism" is not a fucking word, Professor. Good job. A++ for Creativity. 

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