Autumnal Star Dust

Ignorance creeps up through the
cracks in the pavement
Reality's
incessant weeds
One wonders where the joy in
watching the leaves
die
comes from

then coffee becomes the blood of life
sugar makes up my DNA
sucrose, glucose so close to my
veins
syrup spreads in my stomach
snaking through my intestines and
my enthusiasm wains
processed saturated chewed up
spit out
slowing to a snail's pace

there's a missing link
A missing thread between the string
of thoughts within my head
my heart echoes shadows from his
yesterday
qualifying quantity I'm sequestered
in my room
away from the things that want to
consume
me

I was born out of a plastic lunch bag
with a cutting board
waiting waiting waiting
my turn to come
Too late to change
and too early to perform
editing all along the way

When will I be specialized enough to be
analyzed?
Categorized as brilliant in other
peoples' eyes as
another outstanding face on the
East Coast of the Universe

Filling these words with my soul's
depleted content and dramatizing
them for passersby
they stop and say hello
I wave and say goodbye
as I walk this path alone
on my way to die

it makes no sense
There is no reason
it's the only way
to stay
present
remembering that this is all there is
Unless

I read a word
I write a sentence
and calculate the cost of spending
my dollars on this toll road to
awareness

pronouns become ambiguous
stamps
everything is becoming nothing
is going according to plan

I refuse to apologize because
though this may seem a minor key
I will make up for it
majorly.


A.C.