Worldview: Actions have Consequences

Robin Williams died yesterday. I never met the man, but I witnessed his performance through the medium of the silver screen. As a fellow trained actor and improvisor, I empathize with his struggles of depression and perhaps with whatever ultimately made him feel suicide was the best, if not only option. The life of an artist who takes their work seriously is not an easy one. Sure, many people deal with it every day, struggling through, moving on. Then some, give up.

I don't know why. No one knows why, except him. Just like any story though, many messages can be read in-between the lines depending on how ones looks at it. A famous celebrity should not think just because they have died that people will stop being interested in their life, but it amazes me how much we assume to know about others because we know a few facts about their lives and have seen them perform in front of us. I can probably count on my fingers and toes how many people I know but I assume many things. It's very pretentious of me.

For instance, I am not big on editing my posts thus raising the risk of leaving uncorrected mistakes. If pointed out I wouldn't argue that those are mistakes in my text, but what does that mean? Are you going to deduce that I am ignorant? Or lazy? Or careless? Or not detail-oriented? Perhaps those are true, maybe not. But the fact is, you don't know unless you know me.

There is only so much you get from me from my writing. This was never more apparent to me than when I was on a dating website. You get an impression of someone from their profile, but your impression of them in person is different than the one you got from their writing. It may or may not have confirmed or disconfirmed your impression of themselves. Regardless, as an artist in a different medium, an actor is a professional liar. I read somewhere that artists use lies to tell the truth. I don't know who said it, but it has some truth in it. Actors are creators of fiction that tell a stories, and it may or may not be their own. A lot of times a story is easier to tell if it is more like ones own, but a true professional actor can tell any story as their own. That's why they get paid the big bucks.

In the postmodern world, there is a rumor going around that it is ALL fiction. That humans are actually leading lives within a single viewpoint that convinces themselves that they are only that one person, when actually they can be anyone because who they are is actually undefinable awareness. It's an interesting theory and it makes for some far out conversations, and who am I to say it is incorrect? On the other hand, I am a human. Am I human because that is the form I have chosen to be, or is that how I am made? Am I the subject or the object? How does one even broach this subject without seeming trite? Why do we do this? Someone said because it's better than the alternative.

My other thought is that I don't blame him. I don't blame Robin Williams for taking his own life, but I do hold him responsible. It was his choice. And I have the same one. Everyday. I get to choose how I see it. This day, and the next if I live that long. It is a Christlike sacrifice that says I'll give up my life for you. I take that thought kind of seriously.

I was going somewhere with this. I don't remember where. These are just some of my thoughts I guess. My feelings are feelings. They talk to me. Sometimes they are disconfirming of the Truth, and I don't have to listen to them. So take that for what it's worth.

My best advice isn't even mine. Take it from Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never, never give up."

It's part of my worldview, so I identify with lyrics like the ones in this song.